start of something new

There was another guy that i had my eyes on but sadly, he’s not interested in me. But he doesn’t know that it’s him who gave me strength and hope. The strength that i can get over my ex, put everything behind and move on, and the hope that is there is someone out there for me. I didnt know that i could fall for someone again but i did even though it was in such a short time. I know you will never see this, but thank you!

I feel better now. And the most important thing is that i know i deserve some one better and i have hope. I wont be looking anymore, and i believe that when it is the right time, my guy will show up naturally, and unexpectedly.

I have hope! =D

I am actually excited to see how my life is gonna be like in a month, and then a year. I hope when i look back at this post, i’d be like YES, I WAS RIGHT!

For now, keep my fingers crossed and keep fighting. I will be better each day.

(Source: heysounlovingg)

Tonight is one of those nights..again. I feel so unsecured about my appearance, scared about my future. I dont know where i am going in life, I know that i am going somewhere, but not sure where i will land. Maybe that is what makes my life more interesting and scary at the same time.

Recently, i am so lonely. I tried to reach out to strangers that i met online just so i could have someone to talk to. But i’ve met no one. I turned to family but they are not here. I miss the sense of family. I miss those family movie night. I miss the time when i made my brother angry and we fought. Now it’s just me. I’ve been trying to cheer myself up, slowly though. I’m getting stronger and stronger each night alone.

It’s been 2 weeks that i haven’t seen my ex. There were days i didnt remember him at all, i was happy. And there were days my memories just came back to back, and i was sad. Honestly, i feel better than how i felt 2 weeks ago. I am not sure if i am mature and strong enough to meet him and just be friends. Maybe i am not ready yet. I miss him though. But i dont like him now at the same time. I do care about him alot, but he made me feel like our relationship was like a joke. Now part of me wants to ask him to have dinner and just talk. And the other part is telling me to let it go. I dont know what to do. My head hurts.